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How to Save Thousands of Dollars

(Weddings on a Wise Budget)

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The Bottom Line:   

Let's put the bottom right here on top:   

Do you really want to take the money needed to buy new car or to make the down payment on a home of your own and spend that money on a party?   

Can we hold a brief  "Reality Check?"

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Breaking the Illusion:

Are you ready for a little bit of straight talk about weddings?    If not, get out your wallet and pay homage to the Great God Money.   If you are, read on.

In every aspect of life, the general public has been lied to, conned, and manipulated by the money interests and the wedding business is no exception.    If you watch television shows relating to weddings,  time after time you'll see stories and hear so-called wedding experts telling you what you need for your wedding, and every bit of what you'll  see and hear is designed to tap your wallet.

Have you ever watched a television program focused on the ceremony itself?    Have you ever watched a television program describing what a wedding really is, or what it means, or describing the spiritual content of the ceremony, and/or what the wedding symbology is all about?   Have you ever heard anybody on TV tell you  "the real skinny" about what a marriage license actually is?    Neither have I, and I've been a wedding officiant for over fifteen years.

Here's what you actually need to be happily married:   A loving partner and a mutual commitment.  Period.   Everything else is an illusion.    Of course some of aspects of a wedding ceremony are very nice and you'll probably want them as part of your wedding ceremony.   BUT non of the things being sold to you are required.  The wedding cake, described below, is a rather easy way to demonstrate this.

Here's an experiment you might use to see this for yourself.   Go into any bakery and say,  "I'm having a party and want a cake to accommodate ____ people."     (Fill in the blank the number of guests you are expecting at your wedding.)  "I want a ____ cake" (Describe your cake content --  i.e  a white cake with chocolate frosting)    "What will the cake cost me?"   

An hour or so later, send someone else to the same store and say the same thing only this time add the word "wedding" to your party description and to your cake description and note the difference in price.

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The Wedding Cake:

Your wedding cake can look wonderful and still be obtained at a reasonable price.   Here are nine options.   Combine them to suit your needs, requirements and your budget.

1)   One of the  symbolic meanings of the wedding cake is that the love, abundance, and joy in your married life is being shared with your wedding guests.   It's a very nice symbolic act, but that's all it is is a symbolic act.    Use this ritual with love and joy in your heart's and with well wishes for your guests, but remember it is not required.   Option one is to simply skip having a wedding cake.

2)   Option two is, instead of going to a bakery or to one of those places that specialize in making wedding cakes, order your wedding cake from the deli department on any major grocery market.   Again, don't say the word "wedding" when ordering your cake.

3)   Order a simple, multi-level cake from the deli department on any major grocery market, and add your own touches to transform it into your wedding cake.

4)   Order two cakes; a small wedding cake and a flat cake.   Do the traditional cake cutting with the wedding cake and then serve your guest from both cakes.

5)   Order or make a small wedding cake and also  order or make a "grooms cake."   Make the grooms cake a special shape and/or with decorations that fit his personality.   Do the traditional cake cutting with the wedding cake and also a do ritual cutting of the grooms cake.   Then serve your guest from both cakes.

6)   Invite a family member or a friend to make the wedding cake for you as their wedding gift.

7)   Order a small wedding cake and invite a family member or a friend to make two or three flat cakes for you as their wedding gift.  (Judge the number of cakes to accommodate the number of guest you'll be having.)

8)   Order a small wedding cake and put it on top of a make-believe foundation that is covered with frosting to look like a real cake.

9)   Order, make, of have made, a cupcake for each guest.   Have a variety of cake contents and frosting colors.   Put frosting and a small candle on each cupcake.   Pass out the cup cakes and have ritual lighting of the candles by  the guests, symbolizing that each of them wishes you light, joy and happiness.   Have everyone blow our the candles together as they send their best wishes into the universe (back to God, etc) so that it can come to you blessed and filled with love.   Have your musicians or DJ play a special song as the candles are blown out.   Have the guests cut their cupcakes into pieces and share it with others at their table symbolizing that sharing is the key to a happy marriage and a happy life.   Play with this idea.   Expand it.   Alter it. Make it your own.

        And if you use this approach, please send us an email. describing your experience.

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The Wedding Dress:

For a fresh look at wedding dresses, viewers are directed to the page title:  Wedding Gowns and Dresses. '  

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The Marriage License:

At the risk of sounding like a broken record let me repeat the message about what you actually need to be happily married:   A loving partner and a mutual commitment.  Period.   Everything else is an illusion, including the marriage license.

A license is, by definition, the granting of permission (by  an individual or a group of individuals such as a corporation of a  government) to someone else so that the person given the license can do something that he or she would otherwise not be permitted to do.  Examples are things like a driver's license, a business license, a license to practice medicine, a license to use computer software, etc.

When you go to the government and request a marriage license, you are asking to be granted permission to be married according to the laws of the state.   This sounds simple and straight forward and everybody does it, so what's the big deal?

Well to start with, everybody doesn't do it, and signing any legal contract, especially one as complex and the marriage contract is a big deal.    When you obtain a marriage license, you are simply signing the state's prenuptial agreement, and if your relationship turns into something less than you both expected and you choose to separate, then not only do you have a relationship problem, you also have a government controlled legal problem.   And if you think weddings are expensive, try dissolving the states prenuptial agreement.    So before you get into water that is impossible to swim in, we recommend that you go to our web site page titled:  Marriages of the Heart ' and read sections titled:  Prenuptial Agreements '  and  What is a Marriage License? '    

To find out how to have a public wedding ceremony without creating a legally binding contract, see the section titled:  Marriages of the Heart '  on the page titled:  "Marriages of the Heart. ' 

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Wedding Locations:

Please See the page titled:  Outdoor Wedding Suggestions. ' 

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Party Favors and Other Unnecessary Extras:

Please See the page titled:  Planning Your wedding..

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Additional Suggestions:

If you have some ideas and suggestions that we can pass on to future brides and grooms, please contact us..   Send us your idea or ideas.   If you'd like, tell us about  your wedding and how your created something special and still kept the cost at a reasonable level.   We'll add the most interesting ones to our wed site.   

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Wedding Stories:

If you have an interesting story about some other aspect of  your wedding that we can pass along to others, please let us know..   It doesn't need to have anything to do with saving money.  It can be on anything of interest about your wedding.   We'll add the most interesting ones to our wed site.

Thank you.

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