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A Wedding Ceremony Designed for you
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At a wedding ceremony, most guests are usually aware of the minister/officiant for only the fifteen to twenty minutes that a normal ceremony lasts. As a result, few people give any thought to what is required in order to create and officiate a meaningful and memorable, heart-felt, wedding ceremony with professionalism, warmth, and with dignity. And neither do they consider what's required in order to present that ceremony to the couple and their family and friends with the skill of a seasoned professional. u The Visible Twenty Minutes: Occasionally, someone will say to us, "You work for only twenty minutes, so why do you suggest such a large donation?" We usually smile politely and simply say, "In addition to what I do, I'm also paid for who I am and for what I represent." Unless they ask additional questions, we usually leave it at that. We don't take the time required to educate them on the intricacies of who we are, nor do we delve into the value of the invisible, spiritual connections that we represent. Neither do we go into the trials and tribulations of what we do. If you are interested in these topics, we've taken the time and effort to detail them in the sections below. |
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u a mini-theater piece: When you think about it for a moment, it becomes obvious that a wedding ceremony is a mini-theater piece. It's a ritualized representation of love and commitment expressed before family and friends. And like any theatrical presentation, over ninety-five percent of the time, effort, and work that goes into its presentation is invisible to the audience. We like to think we're being compensated for our portion of that invisible ninety-five percent. u The Invisible Hours: To see only the twenty-minute ceremony and to ignore everything else that a competent wedding officiant must do is like looking at a lit light bulb, seeing only the light, and ignoring the intricacies of electricity. It's like overlooking all the behind-the-scene's labor involved and all the out-of-pocket expenses that must be paid. It's like disregarding all the related tasks that must be accomplished, and being blind to the extensive electrical system which supports that single, seemingly simple light bulb. It's like discounting the thousands of people who, over the years, created and refined electrical knowledge and equipment. And then there's the physical power source (such as hydro-electric) and the universal energy of creation that are both being tapped into to create what seems like just a simple, "little ol' light." u It Looks So Simple: Of course the ceremony looks simple! The nature of a professional presentation is that it look natural and easy and comfortable and smooth. A very wise man who spent years doing a rather mundane job said to me one day, "My job looks simple to those who aren't doing it." u We weren't Born Full Grown: Ask any theatrical professional, such as a musician or an actor, what it took for him or her to achieve success. Ask a doctor how many years it took him (or her) to become a professional in his field. And of course you realize that Tiger Woods didn't just wake up one morning and discover that he was a highly skilled golfer. And, although less than a masterful creation, this web site didn't magically create itself. You might also want to consider how long it took you to master whatever field of endeavor you specialize in. u Keeping the Wheels Turning: What does it take to maintain an active, professional status? If you run a business, you know what it takes to keep that business functioning. Likewise, in order to serve our clients, we must be professionals and we must operate our ministry in the same manner that an entrepreneur runs his/her business. Even though we function as a non-profit organization, we still require office space, an interview setting, advertising, telephone service, transportation, etcetera? All that takes considerable, time, effort, and money. And, although food, clothing, and shelter are, in the grander scheme of things, gifts from God, the grocery markets still require money -- and the landlord expects his check every month! u Honoring a Limited Budget: Some people are simply not in a position to or prefer not to spend a lot of money on their wedding. We understand that and we will honor both your wedding desires and your wedding budget. (Please see the "What Will It Cost...". page) u Hire a Word Reader: On the other hand, some people just want to pay the cheapest rate possible for their officiant. They simply want someone to stand up there with them, read some words, and then say, "OK, you're married." And, as we both know, almost anybody can do that. People can also drink muddy water from a tin cup or sip white wine from a golden goblet -- ride the bus or travel in a chauffeur-driven limousine -- eat out of garbage cans or dine in fine restaurants. It all depends upon what they want and where their priorities lie. You might find it beneficial to keep in mind the old saying, "You get the quality you pay for." u What's Important? Ask yourself, "How important is my wedding? How important is my love for my mate? How important is the public expression of my love? How important is the service that our wedding officiant provides for us." One might hope that the officiant's function would be considered to be more important than drying the wedding bouquet, or giving expensive party favors to all the guests, or adding that extra "foo foo" to the wedding gown. Unfortunately, when you examine wedding-expense statistics, you'll find that it's not. This is because most wedding-related TV programs are sponsored by advertisers who's focus is on the materialistic aspects of the wedding. There intent is to sell products. Thus, they all but completely ignore the spiritual side of a wedding. They close their eyes to what a wedding really is and what a wedding really means. And, as you well know, when something is ignored, this implies that it has little value. u The wedding budget: The last statistics we've heard, the average wedding budget was about $20,000. And drying a wedding bouquet costs $400 to $550. Obviously, many people don't spend $18,000 on their wedding, but then, many spend even more. Out of all that money, what is a reasonable compensation for the third most essential persons at the wedding? Does it make any sense to spend $18,000 on a wedding and then hire an unqualified word-reader to officiate the ceremony? The Ceremony is the core and the very essence of your wedding celebration! |
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u The Family Parish: Yes, we know so and so's cousin, Suzie, got married in Iowa last year and the minister charged only $100. Well, here's what you probably haven't heard about Suzie's wedding. She got married in her parent's parish church, a church to which her family has been donating money for as many years as she can remember. The $100 was more of an honorarium to the church rather than a direct fee to the pastor for his services. You also might note that officiating weddings for church members has been a tradition in that church for generations; that officiating weddings is just one of the pastor's many duties; that he does not advertise his services -- parishioners simply come to him; that at every ceremony, he simply stands up and reads the same words every time, words that were written by someone else many years ago. u Personal Service: You also might be willing to consider the value of personal service such as the hour or so of personal, private, interview time we spend with most couples discussing their wedding. And consider the value to the two, one-hour counseling sessions we freely give to every wedding couple who chooses to accept them. Then there certainly is significant value in the time we spend custom creating each couple's wedding ceremony. u Highly Skilled Professionals: You might also find it valuable to ask yourself: "How many people can offer me a custom-designed, professionally created wedding ceremony that expresses the essence of my commitment to my partner and invokes tears, cheers, and smiles from my guests?" And please consider this -- If you hire a word reader, how many of your guests are going to say, "That was a beautiful ceremony; I was moved to tears?" Again, I remind you of the old saying, "You get what you pay for." u What's Going on Here: To some people, the ceremony is just another step along the way to the party. Those who hold that attitude have missed the entire purpose of a wedding ceremony. A ceremony is a public expression of the private commitment° two people have made to each other. It's where each partner declares him/herself in front of family and friends. It's also a way of asking for your community's support in honoring that commitment. u A Spiritual Experience: On the spiritual level, a marriage is a way of joining millions of others in honoring love and commitment. Most couples invite Divinity to participate in their ceremony in one way or another. To ask in prayer for divine blessings upon something is an act not to be take lightly. When couples invite us, as clergy, to officiate their wedding, we take that invitation very seriously. We also distinguish between serious and solemn and thus transform the expression of a serious commitment into a joyous, fun-filled event. u god and money: Here's another antique belief that we commonly run up against. "Money is ungodly." That statement had its origin in the Dark and Middle Ages when the Roman Catholic Church was attempting to consolidate it's power and control over Europe. The real issue in that day was not money. It was the power and control that money brought with it. Unfortunately, the idea that money is ungodly is still believed by many people today. It was not true in ancient times and it's not true today. If money really is ungodly, one might wonder why the Roman Catholic Church is one of the wealthiest organizations in the world. The church, even with all its wealth, is certainly not ungodly which leads us to believe that neither is money. Actually, money, itself, is neutral. It's the attitude about money that controls human behavior. We also feel that money is a function of the Divine and everybody deserves to share in its benefits. While holding that belief, we expect a fair and reasonable financial compensation for our services as wedding officiants -- a compensation that places the value of our services in line with those of the other wedding service providers. u We are also Paid for who we are -- and for what we represent: In addition to what we do as wedding officiants, we are also paid for who we are and for the Spiritual Values we represent. We bring to the ceremony a uniqueness and a focus on the Divine that most other people present do not bring. That's not to say that we are any better than anyone else. It's that by our years of connecting with Divinity, we bring a public awareness to spiritual consciousness that others simply have not taken the time to develop or promote. So in spiritual terms, here's the bottom line: if you use a "wedding- ceremony-words reader" who purchased his label as a legal officiant on the Internet, you'll completely miss the spiritual content and you'll get a dry, ten-dollar wedding ceremony. a $10 minister's certificate ... u Purchased Credibility: As you probably know, anybody can purchase a diploma saying they are a minister, a Ph.D. or any of dozens of titles they might choose to connect with their name. And as you also know, these titles are meaningless when it comes to competence, qualifications, training, skills, and experience. They may look impressive, but, so does the Wizard of Oz until you look behind the curtain of illusion. On
the other hand some of us have spent years in study and have officiated
hundreds of wedding. Our competence, qualifications, training, and
skills are apparent in what we do. And since you haven't experienced
us officiating a wedding, we invite you to talk to those who
have. We invite you to ask any of about thirty wedding professionals
(photographers, videographers, DJ's, etc.) about our quality as wedding
officiants. Please
see the page titled: Choosing
Your Wedding Officiant.° We also recommend
you view two other pages: . u Work Versus Play: Some people think officiating a wedding is work. We hold a quite different attitude. When the actual ceremony starts our work is done and the fun part has begun. We take great pride in the quality of our services and experience great joy in officiating weddings. That's one reason why so many people complement us on the quality, the intimacy, and heart-felt warmth of the wedding ceremonies we officiate. u Talk with Those Who Know Us: A service provider can offer only three things: Product, Price, and Service. We think we are "Five Star" in all three, but please don't believe us. We may be just B.S. artists. Please talk to those who know us. Ask them about the quality of our service. If you would like to speak directly with people who have actually witnessed us officiate weddings, please see the page titled: Choosing Your Wedding Officiant.° This page will lead you to about thirty wedding professionals ( musicians, photographers, videographers, etc) who have witnessed one or more of us officiating a wedding. Call and ask any of these people how our wedding ceremonies compare to the those provided by the other officiants they have witnessed. |
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