The answer you'll get to that question depends entirely upon who you ask.

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For the Real Marriage:  The real marriage is in your hearts.   For that you need love, caring, sharing, and mutual commitments between you and your marriage partner.   

      If you choose, you can add:

            1)    A public declaration -- a wedding ceremony and celebration.

            2)   A legal contract -- The state's  marriage license.   If you'd like
                    to know what a marriage license really is, please go to the our
                    web page titled:  Marriages of the Heart..

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For a Legal Marriage:  For a legal marriage, you need a bride, a groom, a marriage license, and an officiant.   Please go to our web page titled:   For a Legal Marriage Only.

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For a Wedding Celebration:  Here's where the answer gets very complicated.

     Parents:   Talk to parents and they often say you should have a traditional church wedding, with a marriage license  and a reception following the ceremony.

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    Sellers of Wedding Supplies and Services:   These people will tell you you need paraphernalia costing thousands of dollars, and much of what they are selling is useless trivia.   But, what do you Expect?   Their interest is money, not you. 

Actually, you don't need anything that they are selling.   If you buy goods and/or services for your wedding celebration,  we recommend that you do so because if feels right for you and not because it's the expected thing to do.   

    Answer this simple question:  "Shall I spend $20,000 on a party or shall I buy a new car?   Sit quietly and imagine how you will answer that question three months after your wedding day.  Then spend the money or not.   It's completely up to you.   Actually you can have a joy-filled celebration and spend a relatively small amount of money.   See the section below:  Weddings Without the Extra Foo Foo.

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    Listen to your heart:   Here's where you find the true answer to the question, "What do I need in order to get married?"  

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The Wedding Site:

1)   Beaches:

The entire coastline is available for wedding ceremonies.   In most communities, you can simply gather at your desired beach location because  no permits are required unless you intend to build a fire or put up a structure.   To be sure there are no other  restrictions in your chosen area, check with the agency overseeing the beach.    See the listings in the  Malibu, Topanga  & the Santa Monica Mountains. sections for the locations of some of the more spectacular beach sites.

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2)   Parks:

There are hundreds of parks in the Los Angeles area.   Check your local street map for the green areas, which indicate public parks.   Go to the park;   examine the setting;  see if it suits your desires;  then check with the overseeing government agency (usually the city in which it is located; occasionally, the county) for any restrictions or user requirements.   Four examples of excellent parks are:

            Neff Park in La Mirada.

            Torrance Park in Torrance.

            Rancho Park in West Los Angeles.

            El Segundo Library Park.

Parks, beaches, etc.  are listed on our reference pages under the area in which they are located.   For example, Torrance Park in Torrance.  is listed on the Southwestern Area. reference page.

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3)   Homes and Back Yards:

Consider having your wedding in your own home or back yard, or that of a family member or friend.   Home weddings are usually much more intimate (and much less expensive)  than formal wedding settings.   A home wedding is a very lovely way to celebrate your marriage.   

Consider the possibility of a condominium recreation facility.    If  you have a friend or relative who lives in a large condominium,  consider asking him/her to  "sponsor" your wedding at his/her facility.

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4)   Private Clubs and Social Groups:

The area is filled with private clubs and social groups that rent out their facilities for weddings.   In your area, look up any of the following organizations in your local phone book.

            Elks Clubs

            Eagles Clubs

            Knights of Columbus

            Moose Clubs

            Women's Clubs

            Masons (Masonic Temples)

            School Faculty Clubs 
                      (Here's one example:   Cal State Northridge Faculty Club)
                      Restrictions may apply to these types of facilities.

            University Student Religious Centers
                      Restrictions may apply to these types of facilities. 
                      Contact them for information.

            Some Churches will rent their facilities without having to 
                       use their minister and follow their religious philosophy.

             Use your imagination.   Think of places we haven't thought of.

Food and Beverage:

1)   Hire a Caterer

There are many high quality caterers available, many at very reasonable costs.  Check our Catering reference page..

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2)   Deli Departments in Your Local Grocery Stores

Check the deli departments in your local grocery stores.   They will put together anything you want, and most can do so at a relatively reasonable price.   Also, check their bakeries for wedding cakes.

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3)   A Family Affair

Make your wedding celebration a family affair.    Invite your family and friend to prepare some or all of the food.

This Is the Heart's Day:  When you wake up on your wedding morning, the world will have changed; at least, your perception of the world will have changed.   The head will have taken a back seat, and the heart will be in charge.   If you can relax, allow and just be, you'll float through the day in a blissful high.   

It's as if each partner has become two people.   There's the person floating/walking through the experience and there is the observer simply watching what's happening.   If you can stay out of your head, it's a delightful state to be in.

Three Jobs on Your Wedding Day:  We tell our brides and grooms, "You have three jobs on your wedding day-- 1) show up,  2)  be with each other,  3)  have a joyous celebration of their love."   Actually, there is a fourth job, which is much harder that the first three, and that is to do jobs, one, two, and three, only.  

Wedding Day Video:   Those who have a videographer's records of their wedding day tell us that, upon first watching the video,  they are amazed at how many things they did that they didn't remember doing.   

We encourage couples to, at minimum, have a friend or family member record their ceremony.   We say, set the camera on a tripod and let it run, uninterrupted for the entire ceremony.   If you later have children, they usually delight in seeing mom and dad were like before they were born.

Memorizing Vows:  We discourage brides and grooms from attempting to memorize their vows.   We even discourage seasoned actors from memorizing their vows.   Here's why.   

Your Head takes a Vacation: Our experience tells us that, on the wedding day, the intellect takes a back seat to the heart and as such,  is almost useless.   This is why we discourage doing anything beyond showing up, being with your partner, and having a joyous celebration of your love.

Please go to our "Wedding Vows". page for the What, Why and How of Wedding Vows.  There you will find answers to these questions:

         What Are Marriage Vows?

         Why Are They Important?

         Writing Your Vows

         Speaking  in the Ceremony

         Do I Have to Memorizing My Vows?

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